In Defence of the Broken

I know what you’re thinking. I’ve seen the point raised a hundred times. Basically, why don’t they just get on with it and get together already? It is a very good point. All this “will they, won’t they?” stuff is for teen melodramas; kids with no life experience, no clue as to who they are, and the absolute, prevailing view that heartbreak and rejection is the end of the world, the worst kind of pain one can ever go through. And please don’t get me wrong, I vividly remember the intensity of my first love, and the absolute devastation his rejection caused me. That was twenty years ago. We’re actually very good friends. And I’ve faced much more challenging times than a broken heart since then. As every adult does.
Which brings me to my point. Why, then, would either of us hesitate? He’s not stupid. As much as I try to keep my feelings to myself, he knows that I would be with him in a heartbeat. I’ve never been good at hiding my emotions- they’re plain on my face all the time. So there is no way he is not aware of my feelings, despite me being rather tight-lipped on the subject. And, him? Well, he’s one of my best friends, so obviously he cares about me and my feelings, as much as I care about him and his. The emotional connection is there as much for him as it is me. But, frankly, he’s a guy. If I made a move on him, there is almost no chance that he would turn me down. We’re both adult enough to know that we don’t have to talk about it being any more than a one-time thing. Or an “only when we’re drunk” thing. Or whatever. The point is, it’s not that deep. Kids don’t really get that. But adults, with all they’re experiences and cynicism, we do.
I am absolutely not afraid of being rejected if I made a move. And he isn’t either. Sure, rejection would be humiliating, but we’d get through it. No. What I’m afraid of is much bigger than that. If it’s a one-time thing, then so be it. No problem. We get it out of our respective systems, suffer through the initial morning after awkwardness, and, again, move on with our lives. The problem would actually occur if it became more than just a one-time thing. Because the fact is, we care about each other. There is every chance this thing could go the distance. And if it does, then what? We could build a fantastic life together, get married, grow old, and terrorize a nursing home together. Fun times indeed. Lord knows, I know he’s not afraid of all that stuff happening with the right woman.
But, what if it doesn’t? What if we’re not self-aware or smart enough to cut our losses and go back to being friends before it all goes horribly wrong and we get really, really hurt. We are both kind, giving individuals capable of great love. But we are- or, at least, I am- extremely damaged. Our relationships and friendships, our professional endeavours, our tragedies, they’ve all helped to shape us, as they do anyone. And quite frankly, if I got involved with him, I would ruin his fucking life. I’m just much better on my own. I’ve spent so much time in solitude that I don’t know how to be with someone without becoming too dependent on them for my happiness. It’s just not healthy. And while he is no wallflower, no shrinking violet, and certainly no innocent, he has a damn good heart. I do not want to be the one to break it, because there is no doubt I will. At least on my own I can enjoy all the benefits of his company. And it is certainly fun to look at him. He is actually so much fun to look at.
And at least this way he is free to be with someone who hasn’t been so completely messed up by their issues as me. Which I know sounds like a cop out. I am actually working on my issues. The time I’m taking to be alone is at least in part to allow me to heal myself, to work through the issues that have made me so thoroughly toxic. He does not need yet another woman letting him down, and I certainly do not want to let him down. No, I’m definitely better on my own. So that is why I’m not taking the chance. And I can only surmise that he’s not taking the chance because he knows I’m comfortable as I am right now, and he, as my friend, respects that. So there’s your answer folks. Will they? Won’t they? No, they won’t. Because right now, we’re close, we’re happy and we’ve got a very good thing going as it is. So why change that? You know what they say: if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it? Right?
boys: zacky v dear god FACE

Mountain View Show.

Did anyone here go to the Mountain View show 2 nights back, I was thinking about this "make up date in December" that is flying around in the fandom and remembered that the Shoreline venue doesn't play concerts in December. Any thoughts? Also wtih the buried alive tour, do you think this is ALL dates they are going to play, or do you think they'll announce CA dates a bit later?
me_protected collarbone

Tribute to Jimmy

Hi everyone! *waves*

I only recently gave A7X a try and quickly became addicted to their music and their incredible brotherly bond. Personally, I'm a huge fan of the Rev (and even of his crazy side project that was Pinkly Smooth) - it's such a shame that he had to go this early. Well, yesterday (or today - sources are not all that clear there) he would have been 30. Let's keep in mind that he lived and not that he died.

So, I made a post in his memory in which I tried my hand on a harp cover of "Fiction".
Thought some of you might be interested.
in the rain

Help from some A7X fans

I hope this is okay...

A while ago, I had asked for some help with my doctoral research and I'm at it again! I'm looking for help from high school or college age students, but anyone else can chime in if you have something to say. I'm doing initial research on cliques. We're a bunch of metalheads here and probably some other types too!

If you can help out, leave a comment. Thanks. I wonder what the band would say. They sounded like a bunch of outsiders at school. :)

Think about the cliques in our schools. Do they exist for you? Are you part of one of those cliques? How do you describe yourself as part of those cliques?
A7X - Good Life (RIP Jimmy)

One year later

What, if anything, did you do in Jimmy's memory?

I listened to A7X all day at work and in the car, wore my Nightmare shirt and Rev deathbat necklace, and had a good time smiling at all the Jimmy posts on Tumblr and Twitter. So much love for that man. He won't be forgotten. :)

*Edit* Oops...didn't see there was already a remembrance post made earlier today. -_-;
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In honor of The Rev

Today is the one year anniversary of the passing of The Rev.

He was an amazing musician and friend and I'm sure he's incredibly missed by every person who's ever crossed paths with him. He was a force to be reckoned with. A devious laugh, an amazing hugger, a passionate and protective friend, a creative and wise-beyond-his-years artist and musician. He inspired many people to follow their dreams and that being a little wacky, a little obnoxious and a little sinister is perfectly OK.

I will cherish every moment I ever had with him and he will live on in every song he shared with the world.
No one had a cackle quite like him and people will try for years to be half the master of the double bass that he was.

In honor of him, please share your favorite stories, pictures and videos of him.


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